COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
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 Instructions:

 Please fully describe the problem your computer is
 experiencing by answering the following 24
 questions. These questions are designed to guide
 you step-by-step through the same process as would
 be followed by your system administrator. Take as
 much time as you need. When done, submit your
 problem report by mailing it to sysadmin.
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Response information (important):
Name:  (optional)
Email:  (required)
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  1. Describe your problem:

  2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

  3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

  4. Problem Severity:  Minor  Minor  Minor  Trivial

  5. Nature of the problem:  Locked Up  Frozen  Hung  Shot

  6. Is your computer plugged in?  Yes  No

  7. Is it turned on?  Yes  No

  8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?  Yes  No

  9. Have you made it worse?  Yes  No

 10. Have you read the manual?  Yes  No

 11. Are you sure you've read the manual?  Yes  No

 12. Are you absolutely positively sure you've read the manual?  Yes  No

 13. Do you think you understood it?  Yes  No

 14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

 15. How tall are you? (example: 5'11")

 16. Are you above this line? ________________________  Yes  No

 17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem
     occurred?

 18. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.

 19. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?  Yes  No

 20. How does this problem make you feel?

 21. Tell me about your childhood.

 22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?  Yes  No

 23. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?  Yes  Yes

 24. And just WHAT in the HELL do YOU expect ME to do about it???